Describing myself online over 10 years

Posted on March 8, 2011 by Anna

Today I did some file and record clean up and I proudly present you with samples of how I described myself online over the past 10 years. Makes me  think yet again how interesting a large scale analysis of how people have describes themselves online has changed over the past 10 years would be.  For your laughter and amusement I have included a vintage Anna picture as well, where I am rocking my best “piss-my-parents-off-ill-do-what-want-in-college” hairstyle

Friendster (2002)

Well I am very good at falling, I do it often on campus and at home. One time a went on a date with real tall dude and we went longboarding and I totally biffed it. That’s kind of my thing, falling. I fully exploit 50 cent tuesdays at the the dollar theater. I know how to max the ticket output at the nicklecade. Oh yeah my cast glows in the dark.

What I enjoy doing:Designing clothes for extreme tacky Barbie make overs, longboarding, Kareoke night at Jerry’s, talking like Bill, falling down, exploiting the world through a wheelchair, thursday night dance parties, cookie night

Myspace (2004)

I hail from Cleveland, but some how got turned around and ended up in the middle of quirky P-town. I consider myself better than you and your mom. I love to just sit down and jam. I have yet to make it famous and I figure that’s not exactly where it’s at. All my songs are just random creations and variations on the same theme… life. While I might sometimes be sappy, I figure its only the result of overexposure to Utah waves. The way I look at it, all the world’s a zoo, but are you going to allow yourself to be locked up in a cage and stared at all day? I vote for watching everyone else making fools of themselves while enjoying cotton candy

Xanga (2006)

Interests: Shaky eggs, rocking out to “you’re no Irish Laddie”, flaunting my moderately attractiveness, writing,playing, and listening to music, putting peeps in the microwave so I can see them fight,
Expertise: Putting my hands in the air and waving them like I just don’t care

Facebook (2009)

Random facts about me: In college I financed a trip to Disneyland by asking strangers if I could borrow a quarter. I never graduated high school; my family makes fun of me for being the only student at Columbia Graduate school with a GED. I once set my house on fire with my underwear.  I like to write dumb songs on the spot with roommates/ friends. When I was younger I competed in math competitions and surprisingly I won a lot. But really I only did it for the school day off and free pizza.

Twitter (2011)

Anna the analyst… my name predicted my career. Go figure. Something-something at somewhere awesome.

 

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Over 1,000 Friends? Hell No says Foursquare.

Posted on February 24, 2011 by Anna

This evening I got the below email from Foursquare. Apparently having 1000+ friends on foursquare now means you get auto converted to a “follow” account. And guess what, having more than 1,000 friends? Even if you wanted too- it’s no longer an option.  Do you think this is a step in the right direction or a potential faux pax for Foursquare?

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Looks like Ken Is Going to Get Some Action This V-day

Posted on February 13, 2011 by Anna

Today was laundry day or what I like to call the most painful day of the month. I  am not sure what it is about lugging 40 pounds of slightly dirty fashion awesomeness to a dark place that smells oddly of Chinese food that makes me so bitter. On laundry day its hard for me to find a way to keep myself from falling to my knees, raising my hands to the sky and screaming “WWWWWWHHHHHHYYYY???” let alone smile.  But today, was an exception. As usual, I stopped into the Magnolia’s bakery near my laundry mat to complete my usual cupcake for sanity exchange; I like to reward myself for doing something I loathe with such commitment. As I stared at the rows of frosted happiness, one cupcake stood out. It was frosted to impress. A top the sassy red velvet cake and pink sparkly frosting stood a wafer heart which read, “Your the only doll for me <3 Ken.” A smile spread across my bitter sweat and Tide encrusted face; love was in the air.

Sure, I had seen the mashable articles on Ken’s campaign to win Barbie back, but somehow it didn’t mean more to me than a casual tweet. Sure I took the time to pound out 140 characters to share it with my friends, but I didn’t really engage.  Why would I? Barbies just aren’t my thing ( on the other hand playdoh an easy bake ovens are).  But some how only a few sugar coated seconds was able to change a lifetime of predilections. Even thought I didn’t play with Barbies as a kid,  as soon as I saw this tasty sign of affection I felt connected to the age-old Mattel brand.  I pulled out my iphone, typed kenandbarbie.com, and vowed to bring back love to the now single dolls.  I was relieved to find after casting my vote that love is in the air and it looks like this Valentines Day is going to be marked as the day Ken and Barbie became the iconic duo once again

After my cupcake induced rush to help Ken woo Barbie back into his arms, I began to think about why it had been so successful. I could care less about Barbie; she’s totally the doll version of that mean girl in high school who was always cheating on her boyfriend and making fun of people. The same  girl that now works at taco hut, is pregnant with her third child out of wedlock, and still tries to tear people apart to make herself feel good.  How had I been so convinced I needed to step in and do something? That type of connection is nothing to scoff at. The truth of the matter is, I don’t know. All I am certain of is when advertising forces you to something unexpected, it’s great advertising. So hats off to Mattel. Thanks for making me smile and making me like Barbie. You win.

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This is Not Utopia. Some Social Media Will Be Outsourced.

Posted on February 2, 2011 by Anna

I am getting really sick of reading articles about how social media should never be outsourced and that no one can truly understand the brand, but the brand itself. Really? In that case, the website should be built in house, call centers should never be outsourced, events should be planned by the company,  speech writers dare not be hired and etc etc. Quick check- do you see that happening? Good, neither did I.

I appreciate the outlook that social media should be run in house. I think in a perfect world, with unlimited resources and headcount, no internal politics and lots of tech savvy staff- maybe it is the ultimate answer. However, I personally have never come across any company living in this scenario. It seems there is a lot of chatter about what works in Utopia and not about what really works in the real world. I want to like this article by Econsultancy because I think they got it mostly right, but I have to slight them for the controversial title. It’s too absolute.

I have spent time in both roles ( agency and brand) and I can tell you there isn’t one perfect mix of agency and brand. You’ll notice that recently many former leaders of social media at brands  have recently moved onto agencies. There’s a reason. While, dialogue and customer engagement should live within the brand, that activity makes up a very small portion of building a social media program. You have to build the strategy. Resources must be organized and allocated to maximize results. Consumers have to be heard and their thoughts synthesized into actionable and tactical nuggets. Pages need to be built. Systems need to be acquired. And on and on… It’s a lot of ongoing work and much of it get shifted to an agency. Here are the reasons why:

Slow Production:
Social media is a fast moving channel; we’ve all had that beat into our brain at every and any social media conference we’ve attended.  Brands move slow. With small teams, there is no way a internal social media group could produce the work an agency of 45 could in the same amount of time. If a brand wants a quick turn around, they’re going to hire an agency.

Lack of Resources:
Engaging an agency works best with how large companies are structured. Many companies are limited in their head count, but have a sizable budget for agency spend- something you often overlooked in this argument. Only in social media utopia can a brand retain the type of headcount it would take to run a proper internal social media group. This is not a definite rule, but more often than not the case.

Lack of  In-house Skills:
Most internal social media teams are small with limited skills. Even if a team member has significant social media experience, they still are one person.  Additionally, outsourcing allows a brand’s employees to work where they thrive. Many social media team leaders are excellent project managers- with significant experience working through red tape and directing agency partners to get desired results.

Creatures of habit:
Brands are use to outsourcing work. It’s how the company is organized. So naturally, it’s easier to outsource that to hire. Often companies outsource work and the agency hire sits on site. It’s almost a hybrid between company and agency. That employee gets to soak up the brand;s culture, but is in many ways protected from some of the internal drama. There’s another reason this works out in the teams favor- it allows for acquisition of more internal budget. If you’ve worked in a brand you know that often budget= power.

Agencies  are going to remain a lasting part of the brand social media puzzle; they are in many ways faster, less biased by internal politics, and better equipped to deliver quick any high quality results. There’s less red tape, more focus on collaboration, and generally more comfort with the subject matter at a macro level. That said, an agency should be a partner to social success, not a social media overlord. That means empowering the brand to make decisions and drive the road map. This, unfortunately,  is not easy for most agencies to do.

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Screw Engagement, More Glitter!

Posted on February 1, 2011 by Anna

I like glitter. A lot. For heaven’s sake, I have been known to rock a gangsta chain made entirely out of huge crystals on top of a shirt covered with sequins. If it’s sparkly, I am usually on board. Hell, most of the time I am driving the shimmer train all the way to sparkleville. As pro-twinkle as I am, sometimes too much is too much.  Sparkle’s an accent, not a wardrobe. Glitter can’t be special and exiting when there’s tinsel everywhere. I know it’s usually not my style start a blog post with a soliloquy devoted entirely to shiny things, but this time I’ll make an exception.

Now this “sparkle manifesto” can be applied directly to what’s happening in Social Media right now. Currently we’re suffering from glitter overload.  Every brand is launching a new game, viral video, foursquare badge, Facebook meme, and etc.  There’s just so much glitter everywhere that consumers’ eyes are being singed out by the reflection.  As clever as these campaigns may be, they are limited. The content is only relevant for a limited amount of time, to a limited audience, with a limited purpose. What happens in when the badges disappear, the game come down, and the videos are done? For a lot of brands it means they’re left naked. They’ve gotten so caught up in the glitter that they forgot to invest in the basics.

One of the old adages I use all the time is,  “Social Media is not campaign based, but a campaign can be Social Media based.” In short, you have to keep the conversation going- it’s not a hit and run channel.  I see a lot of brands spending a lot on big bold “viral Social Media” campaigns that have little to no engagement component to them. Many of the day-to-day social activities are left undeveloped.  Strip back the interesting guerrilla marketing effort and there’s no actual consumer dialogue. Perhaps I am wrong, but I thought that was one of the main components of a true Social Media program.

Maybe I am being a selfish consumer here, but instead of trying to be the next big thing, I’d prefer a company that listens to it’s customers. Bonus, if they take time to write clever responses. Double bonus if their business changes as a result of the conversations that they’ve had.  Instead of doling out diamonds like they’re pennies, is it too much to ask companies to focus on building up the basics? Commit to engagement. Share exciting and relevant content. Create a rock solid and informative listening program. Evolve your business practices. Don’t just spam me with sparkle. I hope companies can evolve their thinking beyond the campaign and build real conversations that will endure.

NB: A little well placed sparkle never hurt anyone- just make sure you have a killer dress to wear it with.

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Slacktivism or Why I Hate Facebook Profile Memes

Posted on December 4, 2010 by Anna

Today I log into Facebook to troll around, and I see post after post encouraging me to change my profile picture to that of a cartoon character  to help stop child abuse.  Wait…. so let me get this right. If I change my picture to Ren ( or potentially Stimpy), then some child somewhere is going to sleep safer tonight.  A quick google search to find a photo, a drag and drop to my desktop , and a quick upload is apparently all it takes to change the world today. Well,  that’s what stupid Facebook memes are trying to convince us can happen. Thus the birth of slacktivism.

We’ve seen this before (there was the breast cancer memes of 2009 and 2010) and sure, it has some results. In this case, people are thinking about their childhood or perhaps thier favorite cartoons. Plus, it does seem to get some press. However, most of this publicity is just used to explain to those out of the loop what the hell is going on.  What they aren’t thinking of or really talking about, is child abuse.  Sadly, the causes themselves- in my opinion- don’t benefit that much from this type slacktivism. There’s no  significant influx of new volunteers or substantial increases in donations. There’s simply a mass population who is patting themselves on the back for being cool enough to know that “child abuse” is the cool charity of the month. (unless you’re a hipster- then child abuse is so last week).

The problem with slacktivism is it teaches future generations that social change is obtainable with the click of the button. This mentality in many ways cheapens the work that is done by committed volunteers and propagates  a warped view of volunteerism. Furthermore, this type “of the moment” social action is rarely prolonged. That means while the charity might be thrust into the spotlight for a few days or a week at most, within a month they are right back where they started. The slactivists are onto saving the whales by liking Shamu. And thus, the trendy piece of social slacktivism did little to really help the long term success of a cause.  Moral of the story: We should stop doing cheesy status updates/ photo changes for the charity du jour and instead encourage each other to find a cause we believe in and get involved.

***Updated***

I wanted to add that the reason this incident drove me to write this post. Child abuse has affected people I love and care about. It is not a laughing matter and is something that no child should ever have to endure. Almost five children die in the US everyday as a result of child abuse. More than three out of four are under the age of 4.  Plus, abused children are likely to have criminal or abuse habits in the future.

If you see or sense a abuse in a household, please say something & report it to social services. The biggest problem with abuse is people’s comfort in turning a blind eye; it’s just easier.  If you want to help stop the cycle & get involved- please visit Child Help. (or any other similar org). Also, please feel free to leave other non-profit suggestions in the comments.  ( Thanks @Sue for the suggestion to add this. )

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How to Write Pitch Emails that Don’t Suck

Posted on December 4, 2010 by Anna

About once a week I get an email that usually reads like this:

Dear Anna,

I work for a social media company.  I will claim I met you at some event you registered for, and never attended. I will them blab about how awesome my company is- how it solves world hunger, cures aids, and makes you fart rainbows and smiles faces. I will try to help you understand social media, because obviously you- working for a large brand- knows nothing about it. Because I am so awesome and social media savvy I will educate you for the next four paragraphs with random jargon and cheesy terms like “sexy”, “mega” and “epic”. I will assume you have no social media strategy, no brain, and that you think my email is God’s answer to your many nights of praying & begging for social media intelligence. Not once will I mention how it will work specifically for your business, because obviously whatever I am selling will fulfill every need you have. It’s just so awesome! I will then end this email by splattering random famous social media names and sites, using the words “influence”, “ROI” Or “true measure” no less than 4 times and reiterate how effing awesome I am (exclamation points!!!!!).

New-age email closing phrase,

Company who would like to pitch you.

Really? You think that’s going to make interested in your company, let alone me take the time to respond to you? Hell no! If anything it’s forced me to permanently tattoo your name in the “do not do business with” file folder in my brain. In some cases, the emails I have been so bad I’ve even encouraged others to avoid doing business with them. I’ve seen all kinds of email hot messes. My personal favorite? One company had the nerve to do a mass email to several brands and forgot to BCC the recipients! Fail. Let me tell you how to actually get me to respond.

1.  Don’t lead with your business, lead with you: What your company does is important. Let me tell you what’s more important- that I like you. I have to know then when I call you at 5 pm on Friday with a massive issue that a) you can help b) you won’t be jerkwad supreme about it. And how do I find out if we get along? Meeting you. So, your goal of any first email shouldn’t be going in for the kill, but rather a casual invitation to -what I like to call- a vendor first date. Something away from the office that’s casual, not too private, and I don’t have to slip out the window to get away if it tanks.  Great examples are conference invites, drinks, industry events, etc.  (Note: this list does not include a “webinar”)

2. Do you research: When you write your email, do not send me a form email. YOU WILL NOT GET A RESPONSE. Do you see how I used the caps-lock there? It’s because sh*t’s getting serious here. Form letters are lazy and shows that you weren’t willing to do enough research to write an email that would actually resonate. Furthermore, Social Media is the complete antithesis of a form email. So if you’re trying to sell me on the fact you get social with a form email; I can assume you don’t and move the hell on. See how that works? Is it so effing hard to Google my name and title and learn a little bit about me? It’s not like there’s a shortage of data out there folks.  And if you did your research and found I was tweeting/ blogging about a problem you can solve- that’s a great way to get my attention.

3. Show don’t tell: When you talk about your business, do not tell me I am going to love it. Guess what? That’s my decision. Instead use whatever space you have to talk about your business, to talk about key differentiators. Other companies likely have similar capabilities, but I want you kn0w what makes you shiny and new. Proof is in the pudding; so don’t talk to me if you aren’t going to give me a proper demo. And by demo I do not mean a power point with a couple screen shots of your tool/ software, I mean a real life play space I can mess around with and form an educated opinion about your product. If I can’t test drive the car, I am not buying.

After writing this I can only hope that, maybe just maybe, someone will find this post and actually write me an email that I’ll want to respond to.

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10 Awesome Brand Youtube Videos

Posted on November 26, 2010 by Anna

It’s been far to long kids. Did you miss me? Because I certainly missed all of you. And by all of you, I mean the 2-3 people that actually read this blog once upon a time. Well kiddos, you might have noticed- I am back. But this time the punch is packaged with the snazziest disclaimer from here to the Hudson River. I can’t predict what I’ll be writing, I’ll just be doing it more often. Still awesome. Still funny. Still created by a moderately attractive blond girl with way too much crud in her apt. This is how magic gets made people.

Speaking of magic, this post’s subject is very near and dear to my heart: viral video. But, what makes a video “go viral?” Left and right people mouth off on the awesomeness that is viral video and I’m sure- if you’re a brand- that marketers have tried to sell you ideas to “go viral.” Making a video viral is actually very very simple. More than the marketing, the spread of the video depends on – *shock!*- the video itself. It has to be interesting. More than interesting, it has to engage. A viral video is one you can watch over and over again and still giggle, question, or end up shocked. More importantly, it has to be good enough to make users want to pass the love on. It’s like a blockbuster movie trapped into a frame of a few minutes. The more emotion it drives, the better place it will hold in viewers hearts.

So as a peace offering (in attempts to cover up the fact I have no blogged as often as I should have) here’s a list of my top 10 favorite brand Youtube videos. Maybe they’ll inspire you. Surely they’ll make you laugh. Most importantly they’ll make you want to buy their products AND tell your friends about it. Double whammy win! And that’s just it- if you want to make some movie magic you’ll see you have to make something truly incredible. Or just make it pants wetting hilarious. Funny always works.

1. Coca Cola | Happiness Machine- Here Coke delivers  something special with a surprising vending machine that serves up more than refreshing CocaCola; it serves up smiles.

2. Tipp-Ex | Man Shoots a Bear- In an effort to not ruin this video’s special twist, I’ll just say that this is the most engaging video content I have ever seen.

3. Sienna | Swagger Wagon- Mini vans are cool again, or at least this video from Toyota makes me think they are. That’s a big deal, a really big deal.

4. Old Spice | Re: Everyone- What better than the Old Spice commercials? Having a custom Old spice commercial made just for you. Genius.

5. Blendtec | Will it blend?- This brand has been cranking out videos for 3 years and people still clamor to see will it blend? Lucky for Blendtec, the answer is always yes.

6. OraBrush | Smell Your own breath- Ever wonder how to tell if your breath smells? Fear no more, this YouTube video from Orabrush teaches you just that,

7. BMW | S1000 RR. Dinner for RR.- Magic tricks aren’t just for kids. BMW takes a trick we are all familiar with and make it bigger, better, and puts some gas behind it. The result is both fun to watch and a selling point.

8. Air New Zealand | Bare essentials of safety- Sometimes taking something completely normal and adding a clever twist can make a video a social success. Air New Zealand takes cleverness to the next level.

9. Lotte | Fit Gum- This video is not in English and make no sense, but that hasn’t prevented me from showing it to everyone I know. Their videos aren’t just catchy, they’re down right addicting.

10. MiXta | Mixta y Mixto, una historia de amor- This fabulous video shows the progression of the relationship between a sandwich and Mixta. It’s clever and more than effectively humanizes the product

Honorable Mention: Loreal Spain | ClipDub Oficial Pasarela Cibeles 2010- I had to add this Loreal Paris Spanish channel video as an honorable mention. Why? Because It’s my blog and I can do what I want ;)

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The Jersey Shore: What Fist Pumping Taught Me About Social Media

Posted on November 23, 2010 by Anna

So here’s a secret. I once tried out and was pretty much cast for a reality TV show. Actually, I turned down the opportunity just before the final cast was announced.  When I tell people this story, I get one of two reactions. Some of my friends are entirely appalled/surprised that I would even consider something like reality TV. The other half of my friends are bitter I didn’t do it. Even with two entirely different views on the situation, I have only on response: I believe reality TV is a product of several theoretical equations. I wanted to prove my point through anthropological immersion. Plus, its a helluva story.

But the more I watch the reality TV the more I begin to see the true “reality” in it. Yes, people are staged or coached into doing certain things. Yes, money seems to not be a barrier for doing anything [unless it's built into some type of crazy plot twist]. Yes, the whole world- from the wardrobe to the circumstances- are fabricated. However, even with all of these “fake” influences, there are still very real components. Take for example The Jersey Shore. Here 7 people who have virtually no income, who still live at home at the age of 25, with extreme tanning, fist pumping, & hair poofing tendencies live in one house together. Even though the cast is carefully selected to have a bitch, a tough girl, a victim, and crazy one…. that’s not what I see. Instead I focus on the endearing quality that the cast finds ways to have fun even in the worst of situation. Perhaps the true magic of the cast is not that are a perfectly orchestrated public catastrophe [which they are], but rather that even with everything working against them they still maintain their celebration attitude. And why do they do that, because at the end of the day that’s who they are! It’s something that simply can’t be hidden by all the commotion.

How does this apply to social media? Well in many ways interactions between digital users are heavily orchestrated. There are character limits that control length. Internal emotions cause us to perhaps present ourselves slightly differently then we would in person. There are less barriers to interaction. Much like alcohol and endless money act as catalysts for our Guido loving ladies, social sites remove barriers and act as the catalyst to our interactions with each other, albeit digitally. Even with all of this pushing us to interact, connect, & some might even say “live” in what in our fabricated world, we still who we are- no matter how much that might be masked by the circumstances and opportunities our online lives present us.

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A Shout Out to the Secret Soldiers of Social Media

Posted on November 21, 2010 by Anna

I love social media. Hell, I wouldn’t have the job I do if I didn’t. But even though my heart gets all a glow when some one mentions twitter in the real world, it doesn’t mean I have to get my head stuck in the “social media is the best damn thing in the universe” clouds. Recently I’ve seen these nebulous wisps everywhere and I have to admit it’s hard not to get stuck. In cloud land- the view is unilateral. There’s no need for purpose, or business cases, or actual skills beyond “awesome content generator.” And while being an content creation King (Queen) may be amazing, we can only have so many of them. Right now, it almost seems like the market is saturated with “creators” who have failed to develop any other not-so-social-media-specific skills. This soon will cause a problem.

Recently I chatted with my co-worker about his career. I’ll admit, I was driving him to explore social media more. His response? “For something to work there needs to be BOTH soldiers and generals. Generals know the strategy and the space, soldiers push forward on those orders overcoming obstacles with out looking back to question. Anna, I’m right now I’m a soldier.” This analogy forced me to stop and think. Not everybody needs to be a “thought leader” to make a difference. Plus,  if we were all thought leaders nothing would ever get done. Ever. Social media takes up too much time.

And, if your entire work force is spending their work day tweeting, facebooking and etc (even if it is about work stuff), where would they have time to do their job? Who would be the faithful soldier fighting the good fight for progress? They’d be too busy debating the ins and out of social media within their industry & strategizing to actually create  the necessary inroads into the businesses, services, and the other areas social media will inevitably continue support.  And the bonds soldiers, such as my coworker, are building are critical. Without those inroads  social media could become a stand alone item, rather than an integrated portion of how we look at the communications landscape.

So lets hear it for the soldiers of social media. Sure they may not have a bajillion followers on twitter. They may not roll out with Chris Brogan & B. Solis on the weekend eating bacon and washing it down with champagne. And- shock- they may not even have a personal Facebook page. But at the end of the day, they fight the good fight, push things forward, and get way less credit then they deserve.  They may not be social media gurus, but the understand its importance enough to fight wholeheartedly for it and never look back.  That, frankly,  is a dedication to progress that is too rarely rewarded in our industry.

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